Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
