Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
