it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
