youre lurking in front of me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
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Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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