Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
