Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I love having hate sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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