My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
