Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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