I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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