What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
