he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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