you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
