And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize