I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
