For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
