If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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