please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
