Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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