THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
