who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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