why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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