I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
