If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't deserve a penis
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
