If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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