I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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