He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
