You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
