Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
