I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
