Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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