She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
