No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize