There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
