dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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