It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
