I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
