The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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