I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize