have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
