So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
