...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
