he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
