it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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