It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The adults are the big ones right?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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