Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize