You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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