The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
