Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
