dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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