my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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