I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
