his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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