Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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