Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
