Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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