Betty ford says i'm here all night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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