How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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