I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
