I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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