Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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