My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
