dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
