What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize