WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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