Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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