i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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